The Big Bang Theory Quote a Day

March 23, 2012 5:30 pm

Raj: Oh, Penny, I hurt so bad.

Penny: I know, I know.

Raj: Sometimes I put the TV on mute just to pretend she’s still with me. But I can’t watch the closed captioning without crying.

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The Big Bang Theory, “The Wiggly Finger Catalyst”
March 22, 2012 5:31 pm
Sheldon: From here on in, I’ve decided to make all trivial decisions with a throw of the dice, thus freeing up my mind to do what it does best, enlighten and amaze.

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The Big Bang Theory, “The Wiggly Finger Catalyst”
March 21, 2012 5:30 pm
Leonard: Now that Howard’s getting married, maybe he’ll inflate one of his old girlfriends for you.

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The Big Bang Theory, “The Wiggly Finger Catalyst”
March 20, 2012 5:31 pm

Howard: Ready for bed?

Bernadette: No. I need to brush my teeth, but your mother’s been in the bathroom for, like, an hour.

Howard: Oh. Yeah, she sometimes has problems doing her business. Hang on. Ma, give up! Tonight’s not your night!

Mrs Wolowitz (off): You don’t know that! I just sat down!

Howard: Come on, take a break! Bernadette needs to brush her teeth!

Mrs Wolowitz (off): She can come in and brush her teeth! I’m not embarrassed!

Howard: Problem solved.

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The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”
March 19, 2012 5:30 pm

Leonard: I just can’t figure out what happened. I put my left leg in, I took my left leg out, I put my left leg in, and something just snapped.

Amy: The hokey pokey is a young man’s game.

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The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”
March 18, 2012 5:31 pm

Amy: Leonard, you may not have noticed, but I am being a delight here. And you’re not holding up your end of the evening.

Leonard: Oh, sorry. This wedding just reminds me of my kinda-sorta girlfriend 9,000 miles away.

Amy: I have a kinda-sorta boyfriend who’s playing with a model train right now, you don’t hear me bitching about it. Leonard, a word of advice, moody self-obsession is only attractive in men who can play guitar and are considerably taller than you.

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The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”
March 17, 2012 5:30 pm

Amy: Oh, Penny, much as I would treasure knowing that the two of us had been defiled by the same man, Leonard just doesn’t get my motor running.

Penny: So, um, what are you gonna do? Do you want me to talk to Leonard, let him down easy?

Amy: No. I’ll let him have tonight. Then in the morning, I’ll send him an e-mail letting him know this body is never gonna be his wonderland. I mean, frankly, you’ve got a better shot than he does.

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The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”
March 16, 2012 6:42 pm

Mrs Wolowitz (off): Ha! The eagle has landed!

Howard: And we have splashdown. Wait here, I’m gonna go light a candle. And then we make passionate love.

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The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”
March 15, 2012 5:58 pm

Amy: I got you this to give to me.

Penny: Oh, sweetie, guests don’t normally wear corsages to a wedding. That’s more of a prom thing.

Amy: I never went to my prom. My mom paid my cousin to take me, but he just used the money to buy drugs.

Penny: Put the corsage on her.

Leonard: Amy, this is for you.

Amy: When you’re done copping a feel, that goes on my wrist.

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The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”
March 7, 2012 5:32 pm

Sheldon: All right, this is a Google Earth view of the field of battle.

Howard: I don’t see anything.

Sheldon: Give it a second to load. Whenever you’re ready, AT&T

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The Big Bang Theory, “The Skank Reflex Analysis”