The Big Bang Theory Quote a Day

"Raj: Oh, Penny, I hurt so bad. Penny: I know, I know. Raj: Sometimes I put the TV on mute just to..."

Fri, 23 Mar 2012 17:30:06 -0700

“

Raj: Oh, Penny, I hurt so bad.

Penny: I know, I know.

Raj: Sometimes I put the TV on mute just to pretend she’s still with me. But I can’t watch the closed captioning without crying.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Wiggly Finger Catalyst”

"Sheldon: From here on in, I’ve decided to make all trivial decisions with a throw of the dice, thus..."

Thu, 22 Mar 2012 17:31:05 -0700

“Sheldon: From here on in, I’ve decided to make all trivial decisions with a throw of the dice, thus freeing up my mind to do what it does best, enlighten and amaze.”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Wiggly Finger Catalyst”

"Leonard: Now that Howard’s getting married, maybe he’ll inflate one of his old girlfriends for you."

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 17:30:06 -0700

“Leonard: Now that Howard’s getting married, maybe he’ll inflate one of his old girlfriends for you.”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Wiggly Finger Catalyst”

"Howard: Ready for bed? Bernadette: No. I need to brush my teeth, but your mother’s been in the..."

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 17:31:05 -0700

“

Howard: Ready for bed?

Bernadette: No. I need to brush my teeth, but your mother’s been in the bathroom for, like, an hour.

Howard: Oh. Yeah, she sometimes has problems doing her business. Hang on. Ma, give up! Tonight’s not your night!

Mrs Wolowitz (off): You don’t know that! I just sat down!

Howard: Come on, take a break! Bernadette needs to brush her teeth!

Mrs Wolowitz (off): She can come in and brush her teeth! I’m not embarrassed!

Howard: Problem solved.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”

"Leonard: I just can’t figure out what happened. I put my left leg in, I took my left leg out, I put..."

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 17:30:05 -0700

“

Leonard: I just can’t figure out what happened. I put my left leg in, I took my left leg out, I put my left leg in, and something just snapped.

Amy: The hokey pokey is a young man’s game.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”

"Amy: Leonard, you may not have noticed, but I am being a delight here. And you’re not holding up..."

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 17:31:06 -0700

“

Amy: Leonard, you may not have noticed, but I am being a delight here. And you’re not holding up your end of the evening.

Leonard: Oh, sorry. This wedding just reminds me of my kinda-sorta girlfriend 9,000 miles away.

Amy: I have a kinda-sorta boyfriend who’s playing with a model train right now, you don’t hear me bitching about it. Leonard, a word of advice, moody self-obsession is only attractive in men who can play guitar and are considerably taller than you.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”

"Amy: Oh, Penny, much as I would treasure knowing that the two of us had been defiled by the same..."

Sat, 17 Mar 2012 17:30:05 -0700

“

Amy: Oh, Penny, much as I would treasure knowing that the two of us had been defiled by the same man, Leonard just doesn’t get my motor running.

Penny: So, um, what are you gonna do? Do you want me to talk to Leonard, let him down easy?

Amy: No. I’ll let him have tonight. Then in the morning, I’ll send him an e-mail letting him know this body is never gonna be his wonderland. I mean, frankly, you’ve got a better shot than he does.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”

"Mrs Wolowitz (off): Ha! The eagle has landed! Howard: And we have splashdown. Wait here, I’m gonna..."

Fri, 16 Mar 2012 18:42:05 -0700

“

Mrs Wolowitz (off): Ha! The eagle has landed!

Howard: And we have splashdown. Wait here, I’m gonna go light a candle. And then we make passionate love.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”

"Amy: I got you this to give to me. Penny: Oh, sweetie, guests don’t normally wear corsages to a..."

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 17:58:05 -0700

“

Amy: I got you this to give to me.

Penny: Oh, sweetie, guests don’t normally wear corsages to a wedding. That’s more of a prom thing.

Amy: I never went to my prom. My mom paid my cousin to take me, but he just used the money to buy drugs.

Penny: Put the corsage on her.

Leonard: Amy, this is for you.

Amy: When you’re done copping a feel, that goes on my wrist.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”

"Sheldon: All right, this is a Google Earth view of the field of battle. Howard: I don’t see..."

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 17:32:06 -0700

“

Sheldon: All right, this is a Google Earth view of the field of battle.

Howard: I don’t see anything.

Sheldon: Give it a second to load. Whenever you’re ready, AT&T

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Skank Reflex Analysis”

"Sheldon: You need to remove that chair from the building. It’s a health hazard. Penny: Okay, relax...."

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 17:30:06 -0700

“

Sheldon: You need to remove that chair from the building. It’s a health hazard.

Penny: Okay, relax. I took off the slipcovers, had them dry-cleaned and then fumigated the cushions.

Sheldon: Really?

Penny: Yeah. It’s cleaner than my couch. Found half a Hot Pocket in there.

Sheldon: It certainly looks okay. Has a strong toxic chemical smell. That’s reassuring.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Infestation Hypothesis”

"Bernadette: What are you going to get at the train store, Sheldon? Sheldon: Oh, I’m not buying..."

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 17:32:05 -0700

“

Bernadette: What are you going to get at the train store, Sheldon?

Sheldon: Oh, I’m not buying anything. They’re having a lecture. H-O gauge railroading. Half the size of O-gauge, but twice the fun. Very controversial topic.

Howard: Which side do you come down on?

Sheldon: I’ll let you know after tonight. Unlike some people, I’m going in with an open mind. Who am I kidding? Of course we all know it’s O-gauge or no gauge.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”

"Leonard: Uh, uh, you’re not naughty. Uh, you’re, you’re, you’re dirty. You’re, you’re a, a dirty..."

Sun, 04 Mar 2012 17:35:06 -0700

“

Leonard: Uh, uh, you’re not naughty. Uh, you’re, you’re, you’re dirty. You’re, you’re a, a dirty girl?

Priya: Oh, yes. Yes, I am.

Leonard: Yeah, yeah. Uh, okay. You’re a, you’re a, you’re a, a dirty, disgusting, revolting girl. Ugh!

Priya: God, Leonard, stop talking.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Infestation Hypothesis”

"Amy: Should I go? I’ve been told sometimes I overstay my welcome. Leonard: What, who told you..."

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 17:31:06 -0700

“

Amy: Should I go? I’ve been told sometimes I overstay my welcome.

Leonard: What, who told you that?

Amy: Well, most recently my gynaecologist.

Leonard: Well, you stay as long as you’d like.

Amy: I’m glad to hear you say that, because I’m having a wonderful time. Hmm, I said the same thing to my gynaecologist.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”

"Leonard: Why don’t you just give me five minutes? I’ll Google how to do this. I’ll call you right..."

Fri, 02 Mar 2012 17:31:05 -0700

“

Leonard: Why don’t you just give me five minutes? I’ll Google how to do this. I’ll call you right back.

Priya: Shh-shh-shh. Just be quiet and do what I tell you.

Leonard: Okay, like usual. Good.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Infestation Hypothesis”

"Howard: All right, honey, if we’re gonna make the movie, we should go. (Raj stands) This may be hard..."

Thu, 01 Mar 2012 17:30:06 -0700

“

Howard: All right, honey, if we’re gonna make the movie, we should go. (Raj stands) This may be hard for you to hear, but when I say honey, I mean my fiancée. (Raj whispers to him) Yeah, well, now it means her.

Bernadette: It’s okay if he wants to come.

Howard: Fine. But next time, we get a sitter.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”

"Raj: Mmm. Oh, cheesecake, you’re just as good as a woman, even though I can’t have sex with..."

Wed, 29 Feb 2012 17:38:05 -0700

“

Raj: Mmm. Oh, cheesecake, you’re just as good as a woman, even though I can’t have sex with you.

Howard: Try throwing it in the microwave for a few seconds.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Wiggly Finger Catalyst”

"Leonard: Aren’t you going with Sheldon? Amy: No, I have no interest in model trains, stores that..."

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 17:39:05 -0700

“

Leonard: Aren’t you going with Sheldon?

Amy: No, I have no interest in model trains, stores that sell them, nor their heartbreaking clientele.

Leonard: Oh. Well, I have some work to do, so…

Amy: I can’t imagine that would disturb me. Carry on.

Leonard: Okay. Wouldn’t you be more comfortable at home?

Amy: Not really, no.

Leonard: All righty then. Guess I’ll just get started.

Amy: Leonard, please. I don’t need the running commentary.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Pulled Groin Extrapolation”

"Leonard: Hey, how go the wedding plans, Howard? Howard: Great. We spent five hours last night at..."

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 17:31:05 -0700

“

Leonard: Hey, how go the wedding plans, Howard?

Howard: Great. We spent five hours last night at Macy’s registering for gifts. Looks like I’m finally going to have that darling little earthenware asparagus dish I’ve always wanted.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Wiggly Finger Catalyst”

"Raj: Ask her how many children she wants, and whatever number she says, say, me too. Howard:..."

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 17:30:05 -0700

“

Raj: Ask her how many children she wants, and whatever number she says, say, me too.

Howard: No.

Raj: Fine. Tell her I have a deep, sexy voice like James Earl Jones.

Howard: She doesn’t know what James Earl Jones sounds like.

Raj: Great. Then she won’t know I’m lying.

”

- The Big Bang Theory, “The Wiggly Finger Catalyst”